Death of something is a sad fact of life.

I think the time has come to possibly end this monstrosity of a blog. I am currently contemplating retiring, once again, from this forsaken field of work. I just hate it so much it goes beyond any words I could place into text. For any readers still viewing, I'll confess a few things.

I am a licensed CPA and work has rarely been a shortage for me. This last year my Mother asked me to move back home and help her. She is elderly and basically disabled in terms of mobility, though not mentally. I don't know how anyone could say no to that; I couldn't. I require 20+ hours of recurring education each year and failed to meet the mandatory standards by my company and was laid off accordingly. Family is important; don't ever think otherwise.

I purchased a home from credit and savings. Now here I am, contemplating what to do. I make very decent money being a line cook. But at what cost to my personal well being. I can get a basic bookkeeping job here, though no where what I make in the last circle of hell cooking. A few hundred miles away; easily six figures. Anyways, I'll write about this crap one more time before I forever become another internet anomaly/mystery. I love my Mom and will make sure she's fine, though  have to get out this place for my own sanity.

It's hard to describe; I loathe this employment so much it gives me nightmares and makes me act like a crazed psychopath while in house. I'm just mean and pissed all the time, and my true personality is just not equal by any means. It's quite the opposite actually. I am very disgusted with myself in terms of viciousness outward to the management here. I am very pleasant to everyone else, though it's becoming common knowledge that I am an asshole and I think most might be almost taken back by me and a bit frightened to be honest.

I'll lay some stuff on the line here....I'm not the best line cook to ever grace this field, and I understand that, though I am pretty God damn awesome at what I am still capable of in this industry. I checked my confidence at the door when re-entering this horrible franchise restaurant and am, now, undoubtedly the best at what I do here, in a mere couple of months. From what I've witnessed, no one can even come close anymore, and I've only improved with each day.

The GM and myself had a wonderful exchange last week. I would call it a conversation because he tried to keep it civil, I was beyond human decency and professionalism, and am really ashamed of what it came to.

As much as I'm blown away from putting a GM of a franchise restaurant in his place in front of employees, it really doesn't surprise me here anymore. The front of the house that could hear and came back to witness, back of the house including the prep cooks, bakery and other cook, I was so fucking mad I didn't care. I was yelling like an out of control maniac at him and only him, over something misiscule to him, though important to me.

I wanted one day over the 4th weekend off. Just today; Sunday actually. I had the 4th of July off already, since it fell on a Thursday, though, he had a problem with that and wanted me to take Saturday off instead. I said I would and then he wanted me to work the 4th to compensate for the Saturday. I again said I'd let him know but it was up to me, his words, not mine.

I had a lot of friends coming into town to visit me, yes me, so it was important, to me, yes me. I told him Saturday would be fine. He then asked me if I'd work the 4th morning and I only agreed after I asked who the other employees in the kitchen would be. Best crew possible for this trash franchise place, so I figured I'd be a good guy and help out too, and work the 4th since I was given my requested Saturday off on a short notice.

Literally three hours later I over hear him chatting with the KM how he just happens to have the 4th off now. I'm fuckin' livid and explode like no other in franchise kitchen history I'd assume, at least in that place. Instead of having a solid staff on one of the busiest days of the fucking year, we have one replaced with a fresh new virgin cook who is suppose to get trained on the line that day......I don't even know how to explain that I wasn't happy and especially since I just earlier volunteered to work because I kind of felt bad for taking a busy Saturday off, even though it was for a good reason.

I asked the GM to say what I thought I just heard. He smiled and tried to play it off and I made him say it again. After my brain actually heard this for sure, I flipped out. He walked away and most assuredly because I came unglued.

I was enraged. I could have had the 4th of July off, the Thursday, like I was scheduled, but I wanted to be fair since I wanted Sunday off,  though settled for Saturday instead. If there is a lesson here, only look out for #1 in your life, cause everyone else does. Do only what's best for yourself, and yourself only, and those that are pertinent.

I looked over at the KM who was laughing now because of my temper, I still do like this guy, and he said, "Well take it up with GM (still forget what I called him in the other post) because it's actually his decision and not mine". And I flat out told him the only reason I agreed to work the 4th was because I heard his name was going to be on line too. He goes on to tell me that he understands why I'm pissed but is happy because the 4th is his daughter's 2nd birthday....Fuck...If I had known that, I would have volunteered to work for him just because, but anyways...

I throw my apron on the cutting board and swear mercilessly as I go out front. I walk past the GM and he knows I'm not happy, to put it lightly. I come back in and he's on the line talking to the KM and when I get back he immediately approaches me. I said, and I fuckin' meant it, "Just keep walking past me please." Nope.

He chimes in, "I don't know why and I don't want you to be mad at me." Seriously you mongoloid? I laughed like a maniac and looked at him. He said, "Well, I mean I know you're mad at me but I don't know why." Fuck...get these knives away from me.

I probably said the f word more times than I ever have in my life but I wanted him to actually understand why I was mad at him. He tried to defend himself with the projected volume of customers for the 4th. and I laughed in his face about it. I threw another fit, yeah, I'm a baby, I know, as he walked away.

 So now it's just me and the KM on opposite sides of the kitchen, and he asks me if I would stay for another half hour past my shift for $20 cash. I ask him why as I'm still pissed and really not concentrating on anything anymore. He tells me so he can take a break.

Wow...A break...As much as I like you, if no one else gets one in the kitchen, you sure as fuck are not getting one either, and not from me especially no matter how much you offer me, and certainly not a measly twenty bucks.  I'll give you a five to go out and get some air, but that's all; like I only ask.

I tell him flat out, "Fuck no! I'm not staying for shit!" as I see the GM walking out in the pantry. I immediately yell out to this dick, "Hey! (GM) You'll give him a break won't you!!!!" He replie, s" Sure." and I don't hesitate to yell out loudly, "(GM) will give you your break!!! Take an hour or even two if you want!!!" Who gives a fuck, take five!"  I was still so mad I gave him and anyone who could witness the double middle fingers and said out loud, "Nothing personal but Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you." I left for the day hoping some would actually touch me on my way out.

I'll cut this off here. Longer story shorter, the back door is now open exclusively to me and has been all last week. When I got there today, the first thing I said to the assistant GM was, "I'm not trying to be a jerk, but if the back door isn't open for me to smoke, I'll go out the front no problem. But, if I have to go out the front, I'm not coming back in." Back door was un bolted and alarm was off. I really don't think that's too much to ask for an honest and punctual employee.  I'm really a decent human being; I promise. Sometimes it gets to you, I suppose.

 Corporate Policy conquered.

The Regional Manager was in last week. Damn, that will be a good story if I tell it. Purple shirt and darker purple tie. Walking around like a big shot. I seen him and asked around if anyone ever went out like a legend in this franchise and told one of these dicks to fuck off. Nope and they all laughed like I wouldn't. I sincerely hope to see you all in another day in the life of a line cook.