Random thoughts and sporatic musings.

Well, I had today off, and thankfully so because yesterday was just vicious. A beautiful Sunday morning and afternoon at the city's most popular franchise breakfast establishment, which also happens to be conveniently located one city block from the interstate exit. I always knew we received a decent portion of our business from travelers, but yesterday, as I was walking out to silence my demons, I would say that at least half of the parking lot was filled with vehicles with out of state plates. I guess it's no big surprise because of the prior statement and now I confidently know just how and why we do two hundred, and sometimes more, customers per hour during our busiest hours.

I don't know. There isn't anything new and exciting that happened yesterday in general, so I figured I write about the various interactions I sometimes have with customers. They aren't intentional mind you, just random occurrences.

The first one I already wrote about. It was that bitch who rammed me with the door when I was just trying to hold it open for her, so there is no need to retrace that path. I always clock in and out at one of the front computers located where people pay. Over the weeks here I've heard all kinds of things coming out of the mouths of customers. What happened I found a bit odd. There's probably nothing to it and it's just me being stupid.

The hostess asks a man, "How was everything today?" He plainly states, "My food didn't taste fresh." He wasn't tweaking out or anything, just conveying his opinion. Though I did want to kindly let him know where he was; a corporate franchise and not some upscale dining marvel of the world. Chances are that some part of what he ate came in frozen, thus not delivering that crisp and vibrant zing on the old taste buds. The strange part was when he noticed me. I'm not sure if he thought I may have prepared his subpar atrocity of sustenance, but he also added to close the conversation, "But overall my food was fine.", and he smiled. As the days went on I happened to notice a similar pattern.

The next time a similar exchange between vendor and buyer took place, the women looked at me before she answered. She said, "It was real good.", and gave me a big smile. Each and every time I have actually paid attention, it was never a bad statement. That made me wonder if it had to do with someone who may have cooked the food standing within an earshot, up close and personal. I imagined how I'd react if placed into the same predicament. Well, I wouldn't say anything bad in the first place and just chalk it up as a bad experience internally. Had that episode turned into a normal and ongoing thing, I would choose to eat elsewhere. But I honestly wonder if it's a deciding factor when being civil or rude. The person you "might" be insulting is less than three feet from you. I think so, but then again, who knows. Maybe they were being truthful. I just found it peculiar that they always looked at me first and then gave their answer, which turned out to be positive.

I don't want any patron to know I'm a cook here, and not because I think the work is beneath me or anything like that. It's a day's pay and an honest JOB and there is no shame in that what-so-ever no matter the line of work, period. It's just that there are usually three other cooks that may have prepared that customer's items, and I want no damn part in claiming those abominations were works of my own.

I often have verbal exchanges with people entering and leaving the restaurant when I walk out to smoke. If the door isn't unbolted and the restaurant isn't busy, I'll walk through and around rather than throw a temper tantrum. I always go into the employee parking lot, which isn't even company property, we just park there and go there to smoke. It's on the side of the building and customers rarely use it unless they are pulling something or driving a semi as these things would be hard to maneuver in the customer lot. When ours is filled to capacity, then people's vehicles spill over into the other.

Anyways...Normally I will initiate conversation with anyone who happens to pass me on my way or while I'm standing there. It's usually a smile and "Good morning." with a nod. Sometimes they stop and chat for a bit and are very friendly, and I enjoy that. The semi truck drivers are cool as hell. I've had more than one stop where I was, whip out a cig and light it up while we conversed. One dude had me rolling with some off the wall story about how he just came through an adjacent state and how stupid people drive, within the whole state, no matter if it was in cities or on the interstate. Just the way he was putting it into context was hilarious. I assured him that he would find it quite similar as he passed through ours also, to which he had an equal hilarious reaction. Another time a driver asked me, "Is there a (my restaurant's name) around here?" I turned my head to the right and looked up at the gigantic sign and said, "I think so or else I'm at the wrong place working." We both laughed and he replied, "Holy shit, I need sleep."

But yes, there are always the douche bags who feel the need to make others miserable because they have nothing better or meaningful to do in their lives. More times than not, I get ignored even after my salutations. Don't acknowledge the scummy low life restaurant employee there dickheads. I also had some old bitch yell at me as I was in my space enjoying a moment's peace, "You know you wouldn't have to be standing out here if you didn't smoke!" Yes there was a lovely scowl on her face as she remarked. Oh my goodness. Yes it sure is horrible standing here outside this pleasant summer morning. Wow, you sure showed me lady! I wanted to say, "You know you probably wouldn't need to walk with that cane is you weren't so fucking fat!", but of course I didn't. I just didn't even acknowledge her obvious disdain for my personal choice and tried to blow some smoke her direction out of the corner of my mouth. However, on this one particular occasion, which happened just last Tuesday or Wednesday, I forget which, some guy actually followed and harassed me. A little back story first.

We have regulars here. They come in EVERY day no matter what and at almost the exact same time. Most of them always have the same breakfast and are of no consequence to me. I'm glad they like the food and I've become adjusted to them gracing my presence on a daily basis. One older lady even waves to me from the pantry as she refills her own coffee. What a sweet old bird. Then there are the exceptions, and he now certainly is. Okay, that 's out of the way.

I happen to go out the front way for my smoke break and walk past a gentleman, who yes, is one of these regulars. I nod and say, "Hello." as we pass and he does the same. I guess I made the mistake of taking out my cigarette pack from my pocket in his line of sight. He takes this opportunity to stop me and say, "You know state law requires you to be XX feet away from the building and its entrances and exits." Fuck. Just mind your own business you miserable human being. I reply, "Yes I know. I'm going to the other parking lot." Now fuck off and leave me alone as now you've disturbed me a bit. I keep going on my way when I turn my head to see that this shithead is following me, almost trying to shadow me like a ninja. Yeah, I can see you walking behind and beside those cars asshole, you're not invisible.

I round the corner of the building, off company property, to my usual spot. I flick my lighter and my evil ritual begins. I get one fucking puff in when he appears magically from the other side of the structure. He takes no time to make sure that I realize I'm breaking the law. He spits out, "You're not XX feet away from this exit!" I reply, "And????" He declares, "AND!!! You have to move XX feet away from this door!" I just take a nice slow and long drag off of my demon stick. He seems to be getting upset at my lack of respect for our rules of government and again states, this time even louder, "You need to move further away!" I calmly tell him, "I will not." Now here's the thing. I know for damn sure where I take my smoking breaks is just fine and within our law, well at least I think so, but who cares anymore at this point since this is no longer about me polluting the air and is now about who's is going to win this argument.

He then threatens to call the police on me! I'm not trying to rob you, you know-it-all jerk! I'm trying to gain just a little piece of serenity and you're making that really difficult! I again calmly state, though am raging mad now, "WE need to be XX feet away from a MAIN entrance or MAIN exit and windows that open. This door is neither a MAIN entrance nor a MAIN exit and I don't see any windows back here. Feel free to call the authorities if you think your witnessing a horrific crime in progress." He walks off now apparently in the same mood as he decided to create for me.

When I go back in, he's throwing a fit to the assistant GM. He sees me and starts pointing his finger in my direction so the boss man would be sure to know who this degenerate culprit he was referring to was. Duh, I'm the only other male employee and the only person who just went to smoke. The assistant GM just looks at me as I pass to the back. I can hear this imbecile bitching about our state law and how he's has the mind to call the police. Jesus, please do so they can laugh at you too. About five minutes later the assistant GM comes back and says, "Wow! What did you say to (name/I forgot his name, fuck him anyways)?" I told him what happened and he assured me, "Don't worry about it." AHAHAHAHA! I wasn't going to but thanks for making me feel safe and protected just the same.

Now this goes back to what I was discussing before. Do you think he knew that I COOK HIS FOOD FOR HIM EVERY SINGLE DAY? I bet he does now, and especially so after he seen me casually stroll back into the kitchen. He has been there all the days I have worked up until yesterday, as far as I know, and never took it upon his duty to stalk me on the side of the restaurant again. Maybe next week, we'll see I suppose.

What if I was one of those cooks who does shit to food? Yeah, they are out there, believe me. God, and the deviant, would only know what he would be ingesting for the remainder of his visits. It really gives me the shivers thinking about it. It reminds me of that movie, I believe it was called Waiting. The line in the film was hilarious though equally true in a way, "Don't fuck with the people who handle your food.", as I believe it was. No matter how much you belittle or anger me, I just could never physically bring myself to do anything, ever. Though, I have met a choice few that had nary a second thought. Damn these ethics. I would likely be much happier.

Anyways, that was another long one a bit out of the norm but I thought it was worthy of a post. I suppose it happens to all of us wicked and satanic smokers. I know it's a disgusting habit and fully intend to rid myself of this despicable trend eventually. For Christ's sake though, if I'm OUTSIDE in a parking lot, deliberately out of the way, and you CHOOSE to walk near me, go fuck yourself if you feel the need to say anything. Sigh, until next time, in another day in the life of a line cook.