Blarg, indeed. Part two.

I decided to just make this its own post since it will likely be a lengthy story. I’m going to try to keep some of it shorter, because what happened that day still really bothers me. Okay then, the continuation.

So, I get called up to assist “sweet butter” Gary. On a side note; the reason he calls himself “sweet butter” is because he’s always on a roll. Yeah, I wanted to slap that smile right off of his face when he told me that. Anyways, I figure I’ll just help him out quick and be back on my way to prep. Not even close. This is the first time he’s seen any real action in I don’t know how long, and he’s obviously rusty, to put it lightly.

Usually he just comes in, walks around talking garbage about nothing, and only really ever accomplishes his minimal management duties. It takes him hours to do a schedule for his ever diminishing roster, which only consists of five of us now in total. Then there are the food orders which he must just guess on because we ALWAYS run out of multiple items several times per week. The important items, like steak, chicken, burger, milk, etc. He seems to over order on the things we barely use because there is so many half spoiled products we have to figure out what to do with them. You get the picture.

We do a moderate service and then he just disappears off line without a word. I stay and keep plugging away on a few tickets here and there and decide to check the line over just to be safe. Sure as shit, the place is half depleted, so I do my routine of refilling all the while hammering out orders solo. Then I notice him over in the prep area. I ask him, “Oh, hey. Did you just want me to stay up here or prep like you said before?” He replies, “I forgot that I need to make this sauce.” Yeah right, dickhole. He’s making a basic horseradish cream sauce for tonight’s service, which is still FIVE HOURS AWAY! Good thinking my overlord, I’m sure glad you’re leading our team of ignoramuses. Our fearless commander is obviously terrified to try to cook by himself, so pathetic.

This now means I will be up here getting smothered and eventually need to beg for help. My mood has now returned to its normal nature while here, depressed, seasoned lightly with bitterness, with a bit of rage thrown in for color. The host comes flying into the kitchen exclaiming that there are sixty plus open. I relay the message to captain clueless and the retarded prep cook to which I am told, “Okay, let us know when you need help.” What. The. Fuck.

The printers start to go crazy. One ticket after the other after another, another, another; you get the point. I don’t even pull one off and wait for the noise to subside. The manager is watching this all happen and says, “Did you want some help now?” He had to be speaking sarcastically, he just had to be, but how can I be sure, really? I hold up over my head the string of tickets that goes all the way down to the floor plus two feet of drag. I say, “Nah, I’m fine.” I refuse to even start separating and hanging them until someone gets on this fucking line to help me. He obviously was able to hear my sarcasm and drags himself over.

We proceed to get absolutely CRUSHED for the next two hours. The self proclaimed world’s best prep cook/line cook is a complete mess. He’s freaking out and choking like I’ve never witnessed in my whole career. Fuckin’ Epstein. Gary is trying desperately, and failing miserably, to help him all the while running the grill and the pass. I tell him to just worry about keeping his head above water and I’ll take care of grill and help on the pass. It works for a little while and prep boy is able to regain some control. Those two were complete jokes and I saved them entirely. Then, of course, I get hit with a final massive onslaught of area specific orders, my area. Now I’m going down and directly because I’m covering extra sections.

No worries. Gary was able to finally catch up Epstein’s side so they can now shift their attention to helping me. NOPE! Gary says he’s going to make a phone call! I’m literally buried with no chance of redemption. To make matters even sweeter, Epstein walks off the line to get a glass of soda! I know this sounds asinine, I can’t believe it’s happening myself. This is just how this place runs, on sheer stupidity. That’s the only way I can really explain it.

You inconsiderate assholes! I go out of my comfort zone to help the team, and you pricks leave me to fend for myself?! That is it! What I’m about to write is only bits and pieces of what I remember, I’ll try to paraphrase the best I can, because I honestly lost my fucking mind. I think I actually became temporarily insane for a few moments. I explode like no time before in my life.

I know for a fact the first thing out of my mouth was, “YOU MOTHER FUCKERS!” That’s about all I can verify was accurate. Everyone’s eyes were now on me. For the next several minutes I viciously berated this poor excuse for a human being without mercy. Epstein tried to cut in during the peak of the madness and I let loose on him the worst obscenities anyone within ear distance has likely ever heard in their life. By the time I was done with him, his eyes were watering up. I shift back to Gary and finish my brutal assault. My final words were, “You will be God damn lucky if you get my full two week’s notice out of me.”

The whole lashing probably only lasted three minutes but I got out what I’ve been holding back for too long. I was now done and waiting for the consequences of my actions, actually begging for them. NOTHING. No one said a word. They resumed helping finish up the shit storm of now really backed up orders. No one would even look at me, everyone kept their head down. I’m still raging pissed slamming things around but remaining quiet. We get a lull in the orders and after about another half hour of the most intense silence ever Gary tells me to take a break. I throw my apron on the counter and plow out the back door.

I come back, yes, I went back, (because for some reason it would bother the shit out of me if I didn’t) an hour later and there is a bartender smoking outside. I walk past him and he calls me over with a huge smile on his face. He begins to tell me what unfolded while I was away. He goes on to say that Rex (GM) came in shortly after I left and everyone was flocking to him to tell him what happened. I said, “Well, I guess I don’t have to bother going back in now.”, and he replied, “Nope, just the opposite. Everyone stuck up for you and Rex took those two into the office. He came out and his face was bright red and he was asking if any of us had your cell number. I think dumb and dumber got his wrath as well.”

Even though I really didn’t care if I was fired or not, I was a bit glad to know I could still have at least some steady income until I secure another job. That and I can’t tell you all how much it meant that everyone else that was working had my back. That truly meant the fucking world to me. I went back in.

I immediately approach Gary and plainly say, “What now?” He replies, “You’ve had a rough day, you can prep until supper service if that’s okay with you?” Certainly not what I was expecting to hear and I told him that was fine.

I go over and begin and not more than a few minutes later, Rex approaches me. He says, “We need to talk about what happened.” I flat out said, “No we don’t. I’m not apologizing and I meant every word I said. You do whatever you feel you have to do.” Convinced I was going to be told to leave the premises, I paused what I was preparing and waited. He said, “I’m not mad at you but I have to try to make this right. Things like this cannot happen.” I retort, “There is no way you can make this right.” He said, “I’m sorry to hear that but I’d still like to try.” I mumbled, “No thank you.” He shook his head and walked away. Now I’m pretty sure he’s pissed at me too.

I go back to prepping for the horrible evening to come. No one will talk to me or even acknowledge my existence anymore. I just keep plugging away. A little while later, Rex comes back right as I’m finishing up and getting ready to go on line for supper service. He pulls me aside and tells me, “Why don’t you go ahead and call it a night. We’ll take it from here.” Ah fuck, and there it is, I am being fired after all.

This would be the first time I’ve been fired, let alone even reprimanded in any job I’ve had. I’m relieved but still bummed out at the same time. I don’t care, it was worth it and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I’m not going to argue with him or try to state my side as there’s just no point to it anymore. I give up but will still walk out of the building with my dignity. At least I got to put two of these fucks in their well deserved places before my time here was done. I won’t have to work here anymore and can start to rebuild my sanity.

I sigh and reply in a solemn tone, “So that’s it, huh?” He replied back, “I hope not, but that’s up to you at this point. You had a rough day and I’ll credit you for your scheduled hours tonight. Take the rest of the night off and I hope to see you Wednesday. If you want, come in a little early and we’ll discuss how I see the future of this place. If not, I respect your decision and will let you finish your notice.” He pats me on the back as I turn to walk away.

This emotional roller coaster is too much. I almost start weeping as I leave the building. What the fuck just happened here…this whole day will live forever burned into my memory.

As I type this out, I still don’t know what to think or even how to react. I’m not sure if I will come in early or just quit wasting my time and not go back period, it never seems to make any difference in the long run. I will be sure to update the happenings as they proceed, at some near point in time, in another day in the life of a line cook.